did you get engaged???
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Randomize
