Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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