Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
