found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
