he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
love makes seman taste better
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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