very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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