im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
