I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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