A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
