Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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