No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
