Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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