i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
