Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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