I am spending my child support on dildos
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
