Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize