is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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