if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
