i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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