Pregnant stripper...not hot.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
