i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
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