Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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