shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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