bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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