I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
