You're my little dorito
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
