I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
