4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
