you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
