At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
