He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
