office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
