Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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