This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Why are your pants in the freezer?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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