I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
