How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just blew my weed a kiss
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
