Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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