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Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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