ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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