My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
