i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
