I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
