I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
