why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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