people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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