I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
