i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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