sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
