I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
