I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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