Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
