Where did you get a picture of my penis
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize