I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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