he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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