it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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